im not Christian; just agnostic.

;Monday, November 30, 2009

TIME:1.40am

*WARNING* potential long post

I've never host a zhap pa lang celebration before but I was really happy cause everyone manage to come together and 30+ ppl singing b'day song for me is really one of the best moment i've ever had in my life. it will be memorable =)

tks everyone who came and again like i've been saying, sorry if i was a bad host! it was hard to juggle evenly between every single guest, sorry to make any of u feel leftout (if any) !! it's hard to say what happen in my chalet but i do wan to thank everyone who came and make it so memorable for me =)

shan mei mei and dy sis handmade-ed a gift for me, really is very touched by their efforts and not forgetting the bracelet they give me =)

chris for helping me settle my cake! ordering and delivering it for me =D

superman + eileen also wont be forgotten because they helped me decorate my food area which made me feel 'young' cause i feel like celebrating my 12th b'day. HAHA

my BRO-s, i've know all of u for 9 years already! and i'm glad this brotherhood is still going strong! tks nik for returning home 2 time to get PS3 fix so we got recreation, tks yang for the car contribution, tks mak for cooking on the 1st night and his gelato for the 2nd night, tks keong for helping me out no matter what i request from him and of coz tks them for the very expensive present which i feel that i'm not worthy to receive it cause it's really too expensive but still, thank you all my brothers.

alot of wishes i get was~ get ur true love soon, have a gf soon and gf gf gf and more gf -_-" but indeed,

somethings need to get out 1st before new one can stay inside and i've been struggling this with my inner-self for a long time but i really have sort out my mind and in fact it was decided quite sometime back but i didnt wanna blog about it but since everyone are wishing me this, i can clarify with them what's happening now.. i made a cruel but much needed decision, Z should go away for good in order for me to really start a new relationship and i really set my mind on someone because she was able to make me feel that Z isnt so impt in my heart anymore, every minute spend along side with her manage to let me understand her more and the feeling towards her till now are only increasing and not decreasing, i've know this gal for sometime already and i feel that onli after i know her really long enough than i shld confess to her because i don wan to let her feel that i was being random or like a player who court gals after knowing them for awhile. but fate love to play games i guess? just when i finally think that Z shld be gone for good and I shld confess to this gal, her fate came calling and i feel depress, really depress because i was so close to make my confession but the kind of pain i suffer at that point of time was juz the same pain that stab straight through my heart when i fallout with Z, i told myself if it's her fate than she should grab it, i encourage her to go ahead and because life's short and it's great to fall in love and be loved thus i didnt confess and got myself into real mess, i emo and depress almost everyday.. what can i do now was the question i kept thinking after that? i was about to let go of Z for good but such ironic things happen, is this my fate? i don wan her to follow in Z's footstep where i turn love into hatred and spend endless night crying and most of the time emoing. i act ignorant and try to move on with life thinking i can find someone replacable but i was wrong and end up hurting a few gal's feeling and wasted their time because from the moment i started breathing till now where 21 year have goneby, onli Z and her manage to give me this feeling i cant describe, i love her and i know it's her i want to be with together if possible. i don wan history to repeat, she's the one and i will wait but while waiting, i wan to be at the 第二順位 for her. when she's sad, i wan to be there and comfort her. when she need help, i wan to solve everything for her. when she's happy, i hope to get a share of her laughter. when she's lost, i hope i can be the light for her path. And when she lost faith in everything in life, i hope she know i'm there. indeed the special one have came into my life and i was given crappy reason to people around me saying that i don wan to go NS wid a gf, i was lying la. sorry to all those ppl whom i say this excuse to u =x

i don know if that gal know who she is, but she is a name i wont disclose because she's happily in love now and i just wan to fulfil my 第二順位;s role.. i don know if the next time she read my blog, she will know it's her or she will still see this post or not because she might not be a frequent visitor of my blog. but when i was making my 21st b'day wish, i did make a selfish wish hoping one day we can be together, but a wish is juz a wish. i'm not placing much hope into my wish x)

i purposely choose not to paragraph what i blogged because i hope no one will read finish it actually. if u really read finish the whole chunk, really is damn zai. LOL

any the chalet pic got too many, i should blog the facebook album's link =)

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=126109&id=688583341&l=1c144106c2

-Avenger In The Making
my post R copyright, approach mi if u wan to use them. THANKS!

Blogged @ 11:11 PM

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