The world is evil, I hate the world: how society functions, how materialistic we all are, how judgemental we are, how appearance orientated we all are, how capitalist we have turned out, how sinful we are, how selfish we are, how we destroy our world I reckon God should just kill us all and start the human race again.. No, im not Christian just agnostic.

; Alex Chua ; 1st of December

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TIME:12.15am

i was so gey kiang and went to do the facebook stalker quiz.. i regret seeing the result, i regret seeing things that will haunt me and i regret seeing her face once again, the pain is ALL back. FML

TIME:11.30pm

the few teams i know that have presented for FYP including my superman-s were smooth, really happy for them.. i still have to get myself mental tortured till next wednesday than can relax.. sian-ed

i was thinkin finally some air to breath after fyp1 but by next monday, we have to select wat we wan to do for fyp2.. after tat i still got UT 3 which stands a higher ratio at the end when calculating my grades AND after ut3 i might be going to the bonus attachment.. omg la~ juz by thinking of wat's coming up makes me go @_@

AND AND... my 21st b'day celebration!! the website still don have december de schedule, i tink i shld call them and advance book coz dec is super peak!

ytd was hell of a drama.. i had those stage 5 migraine out of a sudden, i was at cwp wid superman coz they buying formal wear for today's presentation, becoz too pain so i ask kel take cab wid me and kelvin was damn lucky coz he withness me vomit in the cab =\ i reach home, bath and straightaway went to slp.. my mum FORCE me see doctor, wanted to drive my dad lorry go see doctor myself but i couldnt even open both eye, PAIN DAO...... so my dad drove me there AND i vomit again, lucky i at toilet vomit, not at the waiting area.. if not...... =x

doctor say no cure, if pain persist than send me to specialist.. LOL~ so wasted $16 and get some painkillers

why am i blessed wid migraine? _l_


<3

TIME:1am

was expecting a better game but liverpool score 5 onli? somemore 2 is spore put water give them one.. lalala~ liverpool ar liverpool~ HAHAHA.. but the opening is even more power, SR nathan still come shake hand wid the players lor, OMG.. and daniel benett muz be in cloud 9 now coz he manage to kuo sai and exchange jersey wid F.torres -_- mayb tat's why he kelong and give liverpool 1 free goal so can exchange jersey wid torres, ta ma de !!

tml 12.30pm will be submission for fyp1, august 5 will be my presentation! omg man, this presentation will juz be like my ITE fyp presentation, a formal and no nonsense prsentation =D

i got nth else to say, i'm still feelin the same.. i tink this is the most 低潮 of my current life i've lived.. FML


<3

TIME:1.3o

Thich Nhat Hanh:
We don't want to say that Buddhism is a kind of Christianity and Christianity is a kind of Buddhism. A mango can not be an orange. I cannot accept the fact that a mango is an orange. They are two different things. Vive la difference. But when you look deeply into the mango and into the orange, you see that although they are different they are both fruits. If you analyze the mango and the orange deeply enough, you will see small elements are in both, like the sunshine, the clouds, the sugar, and the acid. If you spend time looking deeply enough, you will discover that the only difference between them lies in the degree, in the emphasis. At first you see the difference between the orange and the mango. But if you look a little deeper, you discover many things in common. In the orange you find acid and sugar which is in the mango too. Even two oranges taste different; one can be very sour and one can be very sweet.

was surfing forum and i came across this quote. in summarize it: A can never be B but A and B does have similarities and A and B each has their pros and cons.

i'm in my own emo world again since fyp's done~ i'm trying to use this theory to fit into other area of lifethat not just explain religion..

TIME:1am

这几天的心情没有好到， 一直都在灰色空间的状态， 我一而再，再而三的把心里的眼泪憋住，我觉得我还可以忍住因为有更重要的东西再等我解决，那就是我的FYP。。 这几天我想要很自然的笑但一点都不容易~ 心里就好像有一个巨石压住。等FYP完了，我一定要他妈的痛痛快快的喝一场来麻醉自己。

i thought coding was the hardest for FYP, but reports seems to be even more killer~ left wid 3 days and there's still afew hole that the team muz fill up.. i know we are all tired, just 3 more days, give it our all and say FUCK OFF FYP 1 ok? we can do it team~

TIME:1.30am

haiz, not again~ not all this shit at this critical moment.. she added me on facebook yesterday, instant flashback of everything in the past and i really mean EVERY SINGLE THING. final product? i EMO-ed + skip school today

I've really met my 死穴.. it's been 5 years. 5 bloody long year but she remains inside my head even till now.. she made me realise love has no limit.. i really love her until i don know how to describe.. 很爱很爱， 真的是爱到极限的那种爱。真爱？

here's a story about a foolish guy, good for you if u can read chinese (i know shi ying will be having tat evil grin on her face now coz she confirm can read this whole paragraph -_-")

为了她，我学会奋不顾身的爱， 结果变成了悲剧。
一气之下， 我两个礼拜就跟一个我一开始根本不喜欢的人在一起， 以为这样我就能够忘了她。
我可以对天发誓，我真的一心一意的爱着我的那个“女朋友”，我把一个男朋友该做的本分都全心全意的给了她。。 可是心里根本没有办法忘记“她”。 两年过了，那个女朋友跟我分手因为我们想法不同，我尝试着想挽回不过想着想着。。。 我觉得自己都骗自己两年了， 挽回也是浪费大家的时间所以最终我选择了放生。
我的世界没有停止转动，生活还是照过，可是每当想到她，就发现我爱她的程度更本和当初看到她都一直没变。
写了这么多也没用， 她已经有了交往三年的男友了。大家也都没联络了，连我ITE最好的brothers也都应该没来我的部落个了。
我觉得好失落好失落。。 伤心到极点了可是什么也做不了，我只能一直问我自己为什么我他妈的这么爱她，五年了~ 真的是要疯了。。。为什么~~

this is the story of the past, present and most probably future of that foolish guy, onli afew ppl know about this till now but he have decided to blog it out because he wan ppl to know how stupid he was and hope ppl wont follow him after readin this story although he still will be like this most probably in the future but he have done everything and she still remains in his head.

isit true that the heart and mind can only stop thinking when they stop completely which leds to the word "death"?
But dying is not an option so what else can he do?

TIME:12am

sometimes I wonder isit my luck meeting the right people or my hardwork that gets me to where I am now.

I rmb i was suppose to be in class A(quite a cmi class) during ITE but lucky i met Mr Ng, he arrange for me to go to class B where i met my ite bros cason, nik, jw who are really the pros that manage to get me an 3.4 gpa.. i couldnt do it by myself seriously~ perhaps the only bad thing i rmb in class B was knowing HER.

during ite FYP, also by luck~ i got Ms ong as my advisor, her husband was some big shot in ite so if my team please her, my A for fyp was a certain and indeed, all my 6 members got A for fyp in E end.

in RP~ i admit i'm still lucky too~ knowing facis like ah huat, faith, mandy, ms yap, jimmy, kimberly and ngiam.. i guess each of them actually plays a role and cast a shadow on me that end up create my output in RP, in educations terms of coz.. i'm really lucky i met all this adults =)


my extra source of motivation

我愿做你的召唤兽 一生配合你的要求

Labels: a tribute to the adults

TIME:1am

BPM problem today was quite interesting cause it's related to kitchen one.. lol~

i found 涵涵宝贝 de blog le, after reading almost all her post~ she is really a cheerful gal in real life! shall not disclose her blog link here but it's really easy to find with the help of google =x

today finally break record for this week as me and kel finally took mrt home, wj go fetch his mum thus we left ourselves! so crowded =.= carrie and shi ying + 2 of us go sun plaza together coz carrie wan buy contact lense and we chat at sun plaza for quite awhile and saw a lot of ah beng than they keep saying in the past I confirm as 1 of them also de -_-" wth.. me is guai de, really

tml more jia lat! by right8.10 muz reach school for BMI taking and fitness program BUT wen jie not driving coz car in use.. NOOOOOO! =\ thinkin wat time i shld wake up now.. HMM......


random~ miss the old days

TIME:1.10am

wanted to try the bak kut teh at marsiling wid superman today but we couldnt find the place so end up went to yishun avenue 4, the usual place i eat.. owner change le =( the soup was not as good compared to the past, damn..

shun and me went to attend the industry experience program briefing today.. there's onli 3 job offering and 6 job opening but i think 8 person attend the briefing~ i wonder who will take up this program but i'm still thinking should i go? i only interested in 1 for the 3 job been offered =\

now for fyp~ smooth, very smooth.. from fyp 1 really learn alot so fyp 2 can really know wat to focus on more and wat no need focus so much =D

now i have to really starting looking for a chalet for my 21st cause the date is at peak period and if i still delay, i think GG liao =.= so many things to consider.. which chalet?! buffet or bbq?! how many pax?! omg omg omg -___-

asked 王母娘娘 a formula qns on msn juz now related to marketing, even though she tired till 1 eye closing le she still do a ppt for me siol and it's really FOR ME! she name it "to alex.ppt"~ 几感动一下.. HAHA



i miss her so much! i still cant get use to life w/o HER

陳意涵涵宝贝~ 我几想你两下wor... 不只一下 =(

TIME:1am

fyp is so near to completion~ tat's at least 1 good news among all the negative things happening around now.. tml is napfa but guess i'm juz gonna skip it.. wj onli can get his bro car at 8.30~ lazy to wake up early go sch also..

today was a "heavy" day, sales was fucking sian.. had UT after sch, fyp meeting also.. best part is my 姨妈 came.. shit man~ nice nice during meeting 3 migraine come.. F-up~ but wow~ 王母娘娘 to the rescue! she took panadol from her classmate and give me =D

tyty 王母娘娘~ last 2 weeks was 1 of the most suffering weeks i had but tks to 2 women i manage to bounce back abit =) 1 is my highness, the other 1 is my niang niang~ both of u really stand by me although not physically but mentally all the way. thank you =D

and lastly kelvin tan kai quan, u this knn ccb beh kan kia! rmb the 80/20 thing i tell u? this is YOUR war and no1 can help you, i don expect 50/50 all of a sudden but u should really wake up becoz we R both sagittarius! I KNOW YOU KNOW YOU KNOW ME!

bad memories siol this afternoon.. i receive a ridiculous email from school

this is like a criminal offense that will stick to me forever. no matter how hard i try to forget some memories of the past, i forget the fact that this is how society views me and this record will stick with me till the day i die

human R really materialistic, fuck it man

TIME:1.30am

don know isit whether too much things going on in my head~ or those creepy inner self taking over the real me.. my world's taking a big change suddenly and it's happening all in my head, sad to say but i think i'm into death metal already, i'm starting to know wat is death metal and why actually ppl do listen to such songs.. sometimes when things get frustrating and hard to express especially you wish u could kill everyone, i think death metal totally fill up tat jigsaw puzzle..


detroit metal city~ current manga i'm watching and i'm asking for all the songs/ost they have from my bro

Soichi Negishi is a shy and gentle young man who dreams of a career as a pop musician. Dreams don't pay the bills, so he's ended up as the lead singer and lead guitarist of a death metal band called “Detroit Metal City.” In stage costume he is Johannes Krauser II, rumored to be a terrorist demon from hell, to have killed and raped his parents, to wield his giant death penis with abandon, etc. etc. Negishi despises DMC and all that it stands for, but so help him, he's a terrific performer and can't walk away from that. As DMC's star rises Negishi tries to satisfy both worlds, but can't.

TIME:2am

tio 吵醒 by mak and jun de call this morning =.= meet them and keong than head to taka cause mak wan to buy knife~ 3 knife for $198.. as a chef, the knife indeed plays an important to the chef's status~ happy for mak coz his prospect will be quite good after listening to his big boss plan.. there's alot of room for further promotion, gambate bro =D

actually i've already plan to stall all culinary plans for the next 5 years and focus on education but i guess my overwhelming passion tell me this is something wrong.. i'm gonna play a game of fate, i've agreed to join mak workplace IF they willing to hired part timers, yup.. i still have around 11 months before entering NS so if fate allows me to join mak workplace, i can further improve my skills too. not too bad eh?

lunch + dinner at pizza hut, watch ICE AGE 3 =.= pity this 2 NS man la, so shiong for 5 days so me and mak let them watch some cartoon.. home after movie but tio drag by jun go eat prawn mee.. =.=

keong be bunk fucking 1 person tio h1n1 liao~ he still so close contact wid us today.. i tink i muz self quarantine again =.=

i find myself still saving that draft msg of "what things cannot do" still in my phone

TIME:2am

too many feelings, emoness and crap to type out, cause really too many and i juz now when chatting with 王母娘娘 already type it all out to her.. lazy to repeat again =.=

really tired.. reach home around 7.30, ate dinner le slept till 11.45 and i'm still tired now, omgwtfbbq.. 不认老都不可以 =\

jia lat, i wan to go ikea eat meatballs, heavily influence by 王母娘娘.. WHO WAN GO 女王镇 IKEA? i wan go see car also at the few car firms over there =D

TIME:11.30pm

something is not right~ i can feel it, for the past 2 day i keep having this pain at my head area.. seriously i don know isit a tumor inside? tat pain is not migraine de pain.. is juz... pain. LOL

didnt go school today, problem on probability or some shit.. lucky no go, head more pain~ 1 more reason why i didnt go but onli wang mu niang niang know.. die liao~ she sure anyhow threaten me from now onwards =.=

notice i renovate my blog abit, now ppl don need scroll down to tag or scroll down to stop the now playing song.. finally i manage to get all the black & white song into 1 playlist. enjoy listening ppl!

TIME:1am

had lunch at seoul garden wid my mum and bro, i really advice ppl after eating seoul garden juz go home.. i even bring shirt to change but my fyp teammates still can smell the "ba wu".. omfg de imba one..

fyp was quick and swift.. chop chop done and zhao~ meet superman.. wj finally pass his TP thus he drove to school today~ lucky superman group juz now 5 person, fit 1 car =D

honda type-R siol his car, wat a stylish car but the driver face spoil the car overall rating. LOL~ coz it's early so we drive to sembawang park 1st.. play at the playground for a while, i lie down at the slide and stone there for 2 minute, felt so peaceful, great and carefree =)

went chong pang eat nasi lemak and beancurd city for dinner than go home.. very challenging..

1st we send shi ying home (clementi).. from SLE go BKE, go AYE go until don know why.. WE WERE LOST!! but still found it after 1 or 2 hours finding~ LOL
2nd we send carrie home! (hou gang) wj never exit the right one, end up go till tampines but carrie very zai one, still know how to go home even from tampines road =D
lastly me, than kel~

i've join the "1 dollar club to rp" club created by wen jie! so from tml onwards hopefully have ride to school~ but his service onli TO sch, BACK home bo bao one.. LOL.. and i still don know why type-R cost so ex =.= i tink is really for the "VROOOM" sound =x

wang mu niang niang say she wan to see pictures in my blogpost.. HMM.. post wat picture siol? let me post some picture back when the times me, mak and keong was trying to improve our culinary skills

seafood risotto

black pepper chicken

lemon sauce pork chop fillet wid "special rice"

erm.. forget the name.. cabonara?

ong lai fan + tom yam soup!

feeling hungry now ppl? road turn 1 round back but still ok, not lost.. carrie knows the way =D

TIME:1.15am

it's somehow torturing when u get too addicted to a drama and after you watch the last episode.. u feel sad/frustrated cause you want to continue watching it, hoping it never ends~

I'm having tat feeling now.. recently i just finish this drama which is damn nice really.. 5/5 stars.. i manage to influence shi ying to watch also and she love it too!

best part is~ all the song in this drama is damn nice.. never bluff u all =.=

the female lead 陳意涵 is also cute~

omg.. 几cute 一下

TIME:2.30am

why does love always feel like a battlefield

(00:44) Carrie: yea love is a battlefield
(00:44) Carrie: u have to battle with your feelings which cant be expressed
(00:45) Carrie: no, sometimes u cant win your own feelings.
(00:45) Carrie: u can deceive everyone
(00:46) Carrie: nt yourself
(00:46) Carrie: sometimes u cant explain your own feelings too.

i guess i suck at hiding my feelings, yes bumble rie~ you R right.. but what can i do other than keep trying to suppress my feeling? =)

patience has a limit, mayb it's time to do an ending.. splitting might sound absurd but it might be the best solution to everything. so i can start afresh and live my own life again wid no regrets, you don know how much my life is been messed up now, i hate all of you

i went bugis wid my mum, bro, aunt and cousin today~ we had lunch at bugis crystal jade.. damn full la after eating, somehow my mum and aunt love the crystal jade there -_-.. tks cousin for the treat, $142 siol~ after lunch go bai bai than go mak hse~

had steamboat for dinner.. yang, keong and loong came also.. i finally saw "best captain" wid his botak head.. when i reach yishun mrt i keep walking w/o realising he beside me siol.. LOL~ after dinner watch 1 movie at mak hse than go home~ a simple saturday

ok, late le.. slping time

TIME:4.15


realise that zidane pull his short damn high and wear short socks.. mayb tat's the secret to play pro football. LOL

my god la~ benzema is on the way too~ juz imagine this picture de 4 football star faces change to kaka, ronaldo, bezema and hopefully ribery.. omg.. shoik X100

TIME:1am

normally every once in awhile, there will be some songs that keep replaying in my head and I cant take it out, i can listen to tat same song for 5-6 hours on my comp~ most of the times it's those lyrics that manage to catch my emotion so much that I could feel like the song's story is about me~ i think my mind like to play game wid me =)

current fav song: 解伟苓 - 放逐爱情

有时候 我真的觉得好寂寞
虽然你什麽都没说 只是紧紧的抱着我
却轻轻对我说 我只是普通的朋友
爱的感觉不同 付出的爱没有结果

想不透 我知道自己没有错
爱你的心忘了上锁 傻傻让爱变成一种折磨
你对我一点不在乎 我还是爱的不认输
对你的爱我选择了让步

被放逐在寒冷的边际
去学习暧昧不清不是甜蜜
不再理所谓的不公平
静静的离去 轻轻的闭上眼睛

静静的摆在那里

after school me, chris, en and von meetup to have a early dinner b'day celebration for my bro chris~ we ate sakae sushi buffet, omfg de full =.= i'm so excited halfway during the dinner~ en and chris told me 古惑仔 is going to film new sequels le, they will be getting ekin cheng and chen xiao chun back.. SONG LA! best movie i've ever watch~ i rewatch all the 7 parts for like 4 - 5 times already till now..

omg la~ i found someone wid real short term memory~ halfway in conversation she can ask me: "wat i say juz now?" not onli ONE time OK! alot of time lor =.= we were talking about one of her faci and she give me one bloody good example~ damn, she's good at linking things like me also.. not bad not bad~ got 练过的.. HAHA

TIME:9pm

i thought i was strong enough to face everything alone but guess i'm not tat strong after all.. thank you Carrie for listening to me, i really feel better after sharing.

principal finally sent whole school an email to address this h1n1 case, since the school have been begging student to protect RP's image~ i will not show wat the principal say.. it will simply damage RP image X100.. worst come to worst.. i think we have all been "upgraded" from students to prisoners~ look at the screenshot below send by one of principal's .... i don know? his lackey?


click to enlarge~ so i guess tml they will assign some retired prisoner officers to look after all the class and make sure we don go out from the designated timeslots~

o man~ no1 will care anyway~ becoz i guess 50% of RP population don read webmail anyway~ lol

anyway the superman gang is facing a very complicated problem now~ we R all....... EVOLVING~ HAHAHAHAHA~ here's the brand new superman:

Alexis Prime - me
Bumble Rie - carrie
KelTron - kelvin
JetShiiing - shi ying
WenHide - wen jie

ok.. now for the most grand and formal part of this post's purpose.. barcelona fans BEWARE cause u might suffer from heart attack after seeing this picture! we will claim back what you stole from us! the la liga! the king's cup! and the CHAMPIONS LEAGUE! *evil grin*


it's time the for the fleet to rise once again, revenge of the galaticos =D