im not Christian ; just agnostic.;




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My Beliefs

The world is evil, I hate the world: how society functions, how materialistic we all are, how judgemental we are, how appearance orientated we all are, how capitalist we have turned out, how sinful we are, how selfish we are, how we destroy our world I reckon God should just kill us all and start the human race again.. No, im not Christian just agnostic.

About Me

; Alex Chua ; 1st of December

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MUSIC;




;Tuesday, August 2, 2011

There are so so so so so many things I can share about us.. all the memories, all the jokes and all the conversations we ever had. I really cherish all of them, I do.

Call it "by chance" but do you happen to realize how I have always been patiently waiting to seize the chance to appear the moment once you feel down and lonely when you are having unhappy times or quarrels with the people around you?

I have only come to realize now that after all this time, I was trying so hard to be silly, hoping to get your attention in every single way, to have this wishful thinking you will have affection towards me one day if I stay long enough because I forced myself to believe what you had with him will only be a fairytale.

But after 30 months or maybe even more, I think it's time to wake up from my pathetic thinking because the fact that you guys are still together proves that he really does have a lot more to offer to you and I even think that he might already be the one for you after everything both of you went through together.

I spend every minute wanting to reply to your messages but I stopped because I keep telling myself that it is time to bring my feelings to an end be it torturing or extremely painful for me. Enough of clinging onto you because I could not believe I'm crazy enough to spend the past 30 over months waiting for your love.

I truly don't believe in becoming friends if we are not fated to be lover, I've tried utmost times to be "just a friend" with you but it's just so impossible for me to really be "just friend" with you because my heart wouldnt allow my body to.

So the last thing I hope you can do for me will be to hate me. From now on, please hate me for being such a irresponsible bastard for walking away just like that even though I'm merely a friend to you, hate me because I'm just another asshole with ill intentions who tries to get near you and lastly hate me for been such a pathetic and selfish loser who use such a childish way to part ways with you.

And no matter how I come back to you in the future be it begging you, irritating you or try to talk to you nicely.. Just ignore, scold and push me away because only then will I be able to give you up.

If you ever come across to read this post, I want you to know that you have never left this special place in my heart. I miss you like mad crazy, I exported the old whatsapp conversation that we have and read it over and over again..

这三年来,我一直都第二顺位守着你
我从来没有后悔过 ,只是有着千分万分的伤感
希望这接近三年来所为你做的你不会忘记
也希望你永远记得有像我这样的一个男人爱着你。

Blogged @ 8:48 PM

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