The world is evil, I hate the world: how society functions, how materialistic we all are, how judgemental we are, how appearance orientated we all are, how capitalist we have turned out, how sinful we are, how selfish we are, how we destroy our world I reckon God should just kill us all and start the human race again.. No, im not Christian just agnostic.

; Alex Chua ; 1st of December

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Tomorrow is the day.


Been talking to Josh, my bff in the Army. He's like me, a crapping machine at times and we do share our darkest secret with each other. But the difference between us would be that he is a very passionate Christian person. I grow up in a family where Christianity has always been a taboo topic, I have also met friends who are Christian but he was in a way, "different"..


He was very passionate about his church, his god, his Jesus.. He didn't stop trying to invite me to his church and take a look. I finally did so during last year Xmas service, my 1st time.


I went a few more time after that because people there were really friendly and real towards me, I just couldn't reject them. I get to know a lot of new friends in the process which I think is good?


Josh came to ask me if I was starting to have this "connection" with god. No, I don't seriously. I prayed but I just couldn't get a "reply". He jokingly say that my network connection with God might be down, I gotta try harder and send a few more "email" to him.


Everything happen for a reason and I am curious behind everything that has happened or is happening in my life right now. Why in this life my academic has always been shortage of 1 point, Why in this life I am torture by migraine, Why in this life I don't seem to recall much happy memories, Why in this life my mum will become a permanent incapability person, Why in this life I thought I've finally met the one but always end up with a broken heart even before giving me a chance to try.


Josh then talked to me about "generation curse" and "satan curse".. When we say curse, it's not a witch trying to cast a spell on you but it explains why something happen on this earth and they believe it happen because that was the curse effect.


Very interesting topic to read on as I went online to do some research.


There must be a reason for this sad life.